EDIT: the question should be ‘private vs state funded’
My wife’s family have offered to pay for our 5 year old son (and eventually our 6 month old son) to attend private school.
Surprisingly I’m not biting their hands off (I’m proud to have gone to a ‘normal’ school, but perhaps also a little bit jealous of those who had it better than me).
So I have some questions:
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Can anybody with experience explain the main differences between both types of school, at a primary age level?
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Is it really worth the money when they’re that young?
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Are there any cons that I don’t see? Extra hidden costs that I may have to pay myself?
I went to a normal comprehensive and my brother went to a private school. The difference was like night & day: the greater attention paid to each child, the less time wasted by having to devote attention to troublesome kids and surprisingly enough the diversity! My brother attended with kids who actually spent a lot of time each year living in countries like Nigeria, Kuwait or America.
Obviously this all depends on the particular school but if I was a parent I would want the ABSOLUTE best for my child.
At prep age, much smaller class sizes, more specialist teachers (languages, music, etc), better/more equipment/materials.
That all adds up to more attention paid to each child, so they’ll probably progress better and be more confident.
Uniforms, more expensive holidays/trips.
I would double check that they realise how much school fees have gone up since they paid for / thought about paying for their own kids. Also check out the local schools: some private schools are, frankly, a bit crap.
Edit: also look into things like Montessori and international schools, for a less standard experience.
I went to state school but I’ve done careers type events at private secondary schools through my job and what struck me was how confident and self assured the pupils were. I remember at the career events at my own school people wouldn’t look the visitors in the eye, didnt really listen to what was being said or just slacked off. Here they asked intelligent questions and approached you without being prodded by their parents and even did a lot of the event organising themselves. So even if academically your kid is fine in a state school there’s these less tangible things they’re taught at private.
I’ve responded this elsewhere, but I have a slightly different view of the benefits of private education, though everything said here is valid.
For context, I was state educated until year 3, then at a private school but very much not a posh one (at all, no connections, no boys club, nothing haha) then back into state for 6th form.
Main difference I notice between myself and my privately educated friends vs state educated friends is that because of the attitudes and the backgrounds of the people around you, plus the fact that people act like they’re paying to be there, not only are the teachers much more focused on teaching than disciplining, but my private school peers value their opinions so much more. They feel entitled to speak up and confidently put across their point of view, and most of them now have the education to validate their doing so. This sense of entitlement to success stands you in extremely good stead for your whole life; it’s the thing that makes you reach for opportunities then sell yourself into them with conviction. I can’t help but feel like it’s a big part of how I got into the university I did (which was a good one) and subsequently talked myself into the career I have now which, not to put too fine a point on it, is going pretty well.
Of course this is basically privilege I’m describing, but I’ve read how private education affects women and people of ethnic minorities more for precisely this reason.
I don’t have any amazing contacts, I’m not part of a boys’ club or anything like that, while the ‘who you know not what’ still has some truth, I wouldn’t suggest going to an institution expecting to benefit from this. At both my school and my good Uni, the posh people who you expect to move in those sorts of networks keep it very much to themselves, I was way too poor to be invited anywhere near that and they knew it.
I have benefited massively from being told I can do what I want but I have to work for it and ask for it, though, and that was more down to my private education than my upbringing.
Personally I went to a private primary school for 5 years, from years 2-6. I don’t remember it being noticably different from my previous school besides slightly smaller classes (around 20-25 per class rather than 30) and the food was shit compared to the state schools I went to before and after. Also the headteacher drover a Maserati.
Put simply your mileage will vary considerably depending on the schools in your local area, there’s no way to know for sure which would be better without you researching the schools available in your area.
EDIT: Someone else made a good point about the formality you can learn at some private schools, which while I wouldn’t say was valid during normal lessons at the school I went to, they did offer an extra-curricular english speaking program that I attended all the way through my time there; which I attribute to my current abilities and confidence in group conversations and public speaking. So there can be some extra perks you pick up along the way.
I refer to my prtevious statement though that there’s too much variety in both state and private schools to give a blanket statement, you have to research them in-depth to see if you think it’s worth it.
If you’re in an area with reasonable state schools l, which is most of the country, there’s generally no need to go private school.
I don’t have any knowledge on the primary school level but do have some for those who went to private secondary schools.
Some of the schools are effectively just fee paying Grammar schools, they offer a slight benefit to students with the downside being they often entrench advantage, but from a parental point of view that’s not necessarily an issue.
The higher end private schools are a different story, the point of them seems less to educate students than to make connections, the actual performance from these students, especially where some level of self direction is required, seems below average in my experience.
If your child is exceptionally smart or dumb it’s unlikely to have any impact, if they’re in the middle a private school may have a slight benefit. Although some people will judge those who went to a private school and value their successes less so it may cause some downside later on.
I went to a relatively cheap and not posh private primary school, state secondary. I can’t compare to state primaries as I didn’t go to one and my LO isn’t school age yet, but I do recall that we had only about 10 kids in each year/class, language classes from year 3 (age 9?), singing lessons, speech & drama classes, piano lessons, dance classes (ballet & tap), chess club, a library, a netball court & team, a football/rugby pitch, cricket lessons, an orchard & pond where we’d go and sit to eat a “European” breakfast in French classes, all kinds of random stuff like that. I don’t know which of those things state schools do and don’t have, but can’t afford to send my daughter to private school, so I’ll be pleasantly surprised if she has even half of those things!